Arwy’s World

Arwy’s World

Anna Borzilo  //  Big Apple fan, writer and podcaster.

Dec 2 / 4:02pm

Madeline

“So you would like to keep her safe,” her father listened quietly, half-smilingly, his hands folded, while the young man talked. Besides that he didn’t show any signs of impatience or disapproval until his guest finished.

“Then you need to know what you are going to face. 

“Disastrous, terrible child. Very difficult to deal with. Her personality is so complicated. 

“Very stubborn. If only she could get her way, without slightest hesitation she would break all the possible and impossible rules at once. Rather sensible and very intelligent, well-educated.

“Persona non-grata with all the psychiatrists in Europe. Seeing visions, strange dreams which seem to be vivid and rather painful flashbacks of her tormenting past and glimpses of unknown, unsure, unthinkable future. 

“Unable to sleep well at night hunted by the nightmares. There is one particularly vivid and fierce that bothers her so much. She says it’s about her real parents, my brother and his wife, who died when she was very young. She states she saw them die though it was impossible as by the time the accident happened she had been far away from that place and already protected.

“She cannot take stress well as it literally makes her sick. Her doctors say she is not allowed to worry.

“She is so breakable you never know which of your most careful words or actions will harm her enough that she will start crying and then break out herself into pieces.

“So easily damaged. Gotten into several terrible accidents and barely survived them. I’m not sure if there is a bone in her body that hasn’t been fractured.

“Extremely fragile. Prone to hysterics and making things up. So much of an actress it makes her an amazing liar. 

“Abandoned child. Spent too much time on her own that now she is always hungry, almost crying for attention though she would never admit it. Yet no one can say she is incapable of getting as much attention as she wants.

“When she walks into a room, suddenly there is nobody else there, it’s impossible to notice anyone, anything but her. Not because she is always the most beautiful person in the room. There are a lot of women more generously gifted by nature with good looks. Yet suddenly everyone is out of breath. Her beauty is bewildering, stunning, almost magnetic. You’ve seen it yourself, — at that her father smiled.

“Very likable she is, charming, charismatic in her own little way. Most of the people she meets immediately become fond of her. The ones that don’t like her cannot remain dispassionate or neutral. There is no other way around. You either love or hate her from the bottom of your heart. The ones who don’t like her are out of luck — she is very skilled at irritating them and getting on their nerves. Though these are very few and rare exceptions.

“She will do anything to get her own way, literally anything you can only imagine. She will ask you in her kindest voice, beg on her knees if that is what it takes, throw a fight and start breaking things. Then she will cry and make you feel terrible, responsible for her tears. Afterwards she will be silent and will hardly speak to you for a very long time if not forever, and her silence will be more painful than her angry, sharp-edged words she had thrown at you just before she decided to be silent. It would be the most terrible, barely endurable thing of all as at the point she becomes silent you will be already under her influence, feeling her full control.

“She manipulates with people’s emotions, always gets what she wants. And believe me, at that time you will give her everything she needs, fulfill all her spoken as well as unspoken wishes, things she would never say. You will do everything to keep her happy as I can see it very clearly, without any doubt that you are already in love with her.

“Don’t let her do that to you for her own good. Otherwise she will ruin you both.

“If you are going to fight for her safety then she will be your worst enemy. She only seems so innocent, incapable to do any harm, to cause a slightest trouble. Trust me, you don’t know her like I do. She puts herself in constant danger. If there is any risky, life-threatening, lethal activity going on around you can unmistakably find her right in the middle of it. Not that she smokes, or drinks, or takes drugs. She is not fascinated by anything that can only kill her slowly. No, it always should be the fastest and most efficient way. 

“You have no idea how tired I am of keeping her out of all her favourite highly extreme inclinations and pass-times. The other thing you should know: she is addicted to speed. Not going a little bit over established speed limit, but driving on extreme speeds the most powerful racing cars can allow her. Not on the racing track, on a regular highway.

“The best way to deal with her is to give her as much freedom as you can just trying to keep her out of anything dangerous. It’s not going to be simple as she is not going to endure the limitations you set silently. She will fight against them with all her force. Even though she is never the one who makes a final decision and she knows your authority very well she will make you feel  powerless. It would appear like you both play a game with very intricate, complicated rules. Though she seems originally a lot weaker, you will always feel like you are about to lose.

“You told me that her life is now even in more danger than ever. She is a danger to herself, and I do not know why you wish to take such a responsibility.”

“It’s out of question. She will die without my help, and even if she lives she would not be able to survive without my protection.”

“And you are ready to go against the will of your family to save her.”

“I know very well what it will cost. They will not like my decision for sure. However, no one of them will harm her in my house, and probably in my house only.”

“If it is the only way I will object no more. At least now you know what to expect from her.  Though I bet she will give you a lot of surprises. Very gifted she is in her unique, subtle ways. A child of many talents…

“She is the most precious thing I’ve ever had so take good care of her.”

“I promise to protect her with all my strength, with my life if it is needed. If she will not be safe with me then she will not be safe anywhere. And there is no chance that anybody will break my defenses.”

Her father smiled again.

“It seems she already has.”

“She has indeed.”

“Let it be so then. Tell her that I’ll miss her when she wakes up.”

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